After 20 years working security, one veteran says the most useful fitness isn’t built for Instagram. Discover the practical exercises that improve strength, mobility, balance and endurance for the demands of everyday life
WORDS: George Bass PICS: Shutterstock
I’ve worked as a security officer and licensed bouncer at a university for 20 years.
I’ve always tried to keep up with my fitness: not just to get the recommended two hours of strength training per week (which will apparently shorten my death risk by 19%) but also to shorten the death risk of people who’ve downed ten pints, picked a fight with a stranger and are now in need of rescuing.
Strength is important in my job but bulk can he a hindrance: I don’t want an off-duty powerlifter to feel like he needs to challenge me. Instead, I try to stay as functionally fit as possible.
I’d sooner have the physique and the fuel tank of a centre-forward than I would try to be the next Cedric McMillan, the prize-winning bodybuilder who tragically died at 44, the same age as me.
My workouts are done at home before each 12-hour shift. Security work is not known for its high pay, and a gym membership is something you learn to transfer from the essentials to the luxuries pile.
Being crunched for time means travel time is another luxury, but with a background in manual labour, a basic understanding of compound exercises and an eye for fitness equipment that’s good value for money, I’ve put together a routine that I can get through in just under an hour.
Here is my pick of exercises that mimic essential movements and which can be adapted for all fitness levels. Hopefully they’ll give you a fighting chance for a longer life whether you’re guarding the pavement or a guest at a VIP event.
Single-Leg Romanian Deadlifts
Almost as important as learning how to pick yourself up off the floor is picking up heavy loads, inebriated revellers included.
To prepare for when someone passes out in a toilet cubicle and is discovered tangled between the pan and the wall, try performing single-leg Romanian deadlifts on one leg and investing in a chunky set of dumbbells.
The Pro 100 EXPs from Powerblock aren’t cheap – at £1,146 for the 45.4 kg version, they’re almost a month’s wages – but they’re adjustable meaning they won’t take up much space, and will last even longer than you will even with your reduced death risk.
Single-leg RDLs build strength, balance and that crucial hip-hinge movement. When you max out on the dumbbells, lay them on the floor and hook your toes underneath the handles to perform a Nordic curl, which will hit the same muscle groups even harder.
Pull-ups
Anyone who’s had to scale a high wall will know the importance of being able to lift your own bodyweight. You can practice anywhere with a ledge that’s higher than you are – or an Iron Gym doorway bar. At around £42 it’s versatile, the round handles allowing you to comfortably perform pull-ups (knuckles facing you), chin-ups (knuckles facing forwards) and neutral grip (knuckles facing sideways).
These last feel safest for your elbows; to make them even safer and build extra forearm strength, a TheraBand FlexBar can be used to perform Tyler twists. The increased grip this exercise develops came in useful when I was moving three crack users out of a car park, each of whom wanted to shake my hand before they left.
Dips
It’s not just you who can hang from a decent doorway pull-up bar. For less than the cost of a round of drinks (around £30) you can pick up a pair of Bemaxx gym rings, whose seatbelt-strong straps will support a whopping 300kg. If you thought doing dips on paralletes was tough, wait until you try them with added wobble factor. It’s a serious workout for your upper chest.
Prefer a horizontal movement but had enough of benching? Lower the straps towards the floor and attempt ring push-ups. You’ll feel it across your chest for days afterwards, but the next time you need to force stuck doors open or push a kidnapped wheely bin across a car park it will be a picnic.
Goblet Squats
Sometimes in the job you need to stay crouched next to an unconscious casualty, checking they’re still breathing while awaiting emergency support. If they’re semiconscious then response time can take a while, so to prepare for remaining in a prolonged squat position you can try goblets. If you don’t have weights then a work bag or a workplace first aid kit can double as a load.
There’s also the option of incorporating an isometric hold at the bottom of the movement as well as performing single-leg Bulgarian split squats or taking a deep breath and attempting the ultra-humbling pistol squat.
Rows
Anyone who’s had to fire up a manual recoil generator during a blackout will appreciate horizontal pull power. Single-arm dumbbell rows are your friend here, which you can either perform in plank position as renegade rows or on a bench. My workouts happen around 3am so it’s fitting that I recommend the Nighthawk from Rep – tough, adjustable but not too heavy. Everything I aim to be.
There’s also the option of using the rings again. A few tuck front lever rows will bolster your back and make it easier the next time you have to drag a crate off high shelving.
Incline Curls
Isolation exercises may be a luxury but there’s one which translates well into security work: incline curls. Lifting a dumbbell while leaning backwards on the bench means your arm reaches further behind you, reducing the potential of “momentum cheat” and putting more emphasis on the bicep. This isn’t so you can stand out at the gun show: it’s so you can follow physical intervention training and pull off the “take a drink” escape move the next time that someone’s got you in a wrist grip.
Yoga
My six-day routine is built around three days of heaving, two days of darting and one day of bending. It’s this last in the shape of yoga that gets giggles from my shift-mates, especially the ones who do labouring as their second jobs. That is until they get the dreaded “brickie’s back” and suddenly need their partners to put their socks on for them.
You’ll need a forgiving surface on which to follow videos if practicing yoga at home (a large Karma Fitness exercise mat has served me well for years). Poses like bow, sphinx and downward dog will develop your extension, anti-extension and anti-rotation; balance moves like crow may cause you to face-plant. Another security skill.
HIIT
The first of my two days of darting is pretty simple: find any HIIT routine online and follow along. If possible, choose a trainer who’s 50-plus and knows which high-impact moves can wreck knees.
The second is shadowboxing. You rarely have to throw a punch in real life, but when it happens you should know what you’re doing. Boxers both real and fictional made good use of the technique: rising heavyweight Moses Itauma has explained how it sharpens his performance in the ring, while the villainous Clubber Lang from Rocky III (1982) shadowboxed ahead of his showdown with the Italian Stallion.
As actor Mr T – a former bouncer and fellow push-up/dumbbell enthusiast – once proclaimed: “I stay ready so I don’t have to get ready.”
