From CBT and psychoanalysis to online versus in-person sessions, mental health experts explain how to choose a therapist you can genuinely connect with
Life can be tough sometimes. In the same vein a physical injury can set us back and put us in the physio room, so too are there moments in life where we need someone to help us to take care of the mystical muscle that is our mind.
Deciding to proactively seek out a therapist is a huge moment and very positive step in this journey; so it seems cruel that choosing a therapist is often a stressful experience. Knowing where to reliably find a helpful person is one thing, having a sense of the technical and clinical terms that therapists use to describe what they do can feel alienating; even at our most self-aware, trying to grapple with deciding on the sort of person that can truly try to help us is enough of a mental workout to get in our way.
According to the BACP more and more people are realising the benefits of having a therapist; but like any relationship, the success is often dependent on a good, honest, relationship. With that in mind, we’ve spoken to a couple of mental health experts to get a sense of the essential things to think about when choosing a therapist. Hopefully, they can streamline the thinking and help you on your way to feeling better
Which type of therapy is best for me?
While the specific person you’re working with is important (and we’ll come to that), considering the modality, or type of therapy, is also a key priority. In the same sense that you may need anything from hot and cold therapy to hydrotherapy for physical injury, our mind and our thoughts also contain a multitude of different dispositions, and concerns.
A key consideration initially, is whether or not you have a feeling you are trying to work on. Are you anxious, are you maybe depressed, or just a little lost, for instance. This can also expand to considering the specific situation that has meant you feel therapy could be useful: addiction, grief, retirement are all very normal reasons to seek a helping hand. Psychotherapist Dr Dwight Turner says that “psychoanalysis ican be useful particularly for people dealing with a childhood trauma, for example”.
Having a sense of what you are trying to deal with is useful, because it means you can start to consider which people and which types of therapy might be especially useful. This is often difficult and confusing, so we’ve asked our clincal experts to give you the lowdown.
Firstly, accreditation matters
Mental wellness is as important a health concern as anything physical. Perhaps moreso. Therefore the first and most essential piece of advice is to use a directory that has rigorous quality control. The UKCP, BACP, and BABCP are some of the key institutions in the psychotherapy field, and they all have directories to browse for a therapist that might work for you.
There are also specialist directories, like the LGBTQ+ directory Pink Therapy but within this, you’ll notice accreditation from specific key players such as those above. People with these accreditations are highly trained and should be prioritised.
The different types of therapy
There’s many ‘modalities’ when it comes to therapy, but they share a few key strands and they all have areas where they are seen to be especially effective. They generally have a lot to do with how you feel, and what it is you are battling with that has prompted seeking expert help. “For example, if somebody’s going through a mid-life crisis, which does comes up a lot in therapy, then something more existentialist based can be very helpful.” Dr Turner says.
Behavourial therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are seen to be useful for generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD, PTSD and social anxiety. “CBT’s structured, problem-focused approach tends to suit those who want to understand what is happening and do something practical about it, rather than simply talking about their past or reflecting on their feelings.” says Rebecca Light, chief accreditation officer and registrar at the BABCP (British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies).
Should I do in-person or online therapy?
The boom in remote work means we can, in theory, work with therapists entirely remotely. It’s great as it means we have access to more people, from a wider range of backgrounds than we may have otherwise, allowing us to find someone who matches what we want best. It’s also often cheaper and more convenient. Generally, therapy is as effective remotely, but there are specific instances in which it could make a difference to do therapy in person, as well as the reverse.
“In-person therapy tends to be preferable where the issues are more complex or severe, where there is a significant risk element,” according to Light. Dr Turner agrees, mentioning that alongside instances like psychotic breakdowns “there are times where physical elements of therapy are important, and if these are necessary it might be worth considering.” This can be figured out by talking to your therapist though.
That aside, it often comes down to practicality (are you going to be able to get to sessions more frequently and with less disruption to your life) but also if you’re more comfortable speaking online then it can be wise to use that opportunity. Hybrid options can offer elements of both, which could be useful when figuring out what works best.
How to choose a therapist
When you have a sense of where to look, whether to do in-person or remote therapy, and of the type of therapy that might be best to explore, it begins to become more about listening to your instincts. “I do tell people to trust their instincts, but I also recommend having a couple sessions or at least a trial session with a therapist as this will help you to see whether the gut feeling is right, or whether the resistance is more to do with vulnerability,” Dr Turner explains.
He adds that often a good therapy session can feel easier, by which he means, you are able to truly speak your mind – you don’t find yourself holding back, or lying (and yes, statistics show that the majority of people lie to their therapists but doin so from the onset isn’t ideal, as with any relationship). “A lot of time, people who come to therapy are sitting down to speak about very vulnerable things for the first time. If they feel a little bit lighter for doing so, then it’s good to continue to see from there. I tend to advise people to wait a few days after the first session before deciding to continue or not.”
While daunting, considering these questions is already a crucial part of the work to feeling better. Finding a sense of the basic elements of what you need, and a therapist who feels comfortable that can deliver them, is a great starting point.
