Despite a study showing a worrying number of men are unhappy with the size of their manhood, it’s what you do with it that counts
The perennial question – does size matter? – vexes men all over the world. The prevalence of seemingly blessed men in sexually explicit material (yes, we mean porn) does nothing to allay our fears and in fact only fuels the feelings of inadequacy.
A Swedish study of more than 3,500 anonymous individuals (men and women) set out to discover the factors that influenced genital self-image – and whether these same factors could predict about one’s feelings about one’s manhood).
The researchers looked at the relationship between genital size (the, cough, size of the package) and self-image, how much sexually explicit material was consumed, sexual activity, age and openness towards cosmetic surgery.
Does size matter?
The results were pretty frightening. More than 33% of respondents said they were unhappy with the appearance of their equipment, with 11.3% of men saying they would even resort to surgery to give them more length.
Conversely, those with larger penises had a higher genital self-image score. And nearly 94% of the male respondents had watched sexually explicit material in the last three months.
And herein lies the problem, according to leading sex therapist and intimacy coach, Leigh Noren. “I think it’s actually understanding why you believe that size would matter is important.”
“There are so few places where we learn about sex and where we get to see aroused penises, and clearly one of them is porn,” she explains. “And so, of course, you’re going to get a skewed view of, firstly, how big your penis should be, but also what constitutes good sex.”
“If you’re looking at mainstream porn, then we’re primarily talking about penetration. And, if the material is to be believed, then being penetrated would be the thing that gives the most pleasure.
“This is just very limited way of looking at sex. We’re reducing everything to genitals, first and foremost, when we’ve got a whole body that we can use and can get pleasure using.”
The researchers posed the question: why do people become dissatisfied with the appearance of their genitals? “There is evidence showing that men with severe genital dissatisfaction may have smaller penises than controls, but most of the evidence suggests that both men and women may be dissatisfied despite having perfectly normal genitals,” states the research.
In other words, most of us are pretty average – and that’s just fine! And rather than cosmetic surgery, the clinical implications for the study showed that psychological intervention may be needed as a less drastic and more longer term strategy. In other words, if you believe you’re big enough, then you probably are!
As the old adage goes, it’s what you do with it (and everything else that counts!). “The physicality of sex is always something that people focus on,” says Leigh. “But we forget that there are many different components. There is that mental stimulation; there’s the emotional connection.
“Some even describe sex as being like spiritual, and if you just focus on genital science and penetration, you miss so much!”
